I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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