Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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