I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
