i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize