Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
