No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
