ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
