Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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