If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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