I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
