glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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