I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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