do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
