I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
