i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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