once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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