We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
