Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
