You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
