my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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