I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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