Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
