Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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