Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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