so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
