i'm signing you up for texting rehab
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
