That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
