It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize