that's an acceptable place to lick
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
