the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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