I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
