I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
