I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
