doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
