bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
