his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
