Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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