you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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