she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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