worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize