Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
