how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize