The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
