Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
