is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
