OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
