You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
