Sacagawea was the original milf.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
