I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
