I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
