I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
