He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
