the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
