We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
