Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
