HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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