would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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