Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
