so explain again why im purple
no
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize