She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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