Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
