I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
