I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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