so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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