Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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