physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
